Roadtrips | Baptism | Calm
Peregrino Issue 15
Road trips
Diana and I dated long-distance for nine months before we got engaged, and she moved to Phoenix. I would fly to San Jose or Sacramento every three weeks. Diana would drive an hour and a half to pick me up, and we would return to Modesto. One time I surprised her in Fresno as she was headed toward Phoenix so I could be with her the rest of the way.
Diana and I firmly believe that road trips have played an essential role in our relationship. We figured out soon enough that we enjoy each other’s company and are okay with silence every once in a while. The time spent in the car while driving to a destination allows for long conversations, telling stories, having dream sessions, and even working out misunderstandings. It’s both daunting and freeing since you are there, can’t go anywhere, and sometimes you need a break from podcasts.
The trip we have repeated the most has been Phoenix to Modesto and back. Over the last decade, we’ve made that trip at least twice a year. It’s a 700-mile trip one way that’s supposed to take 12 hours, that is, if you don’t stop at all. When it was just Diana and me, we would drive the whole distance in one day, but since we’ve added members to our family, we’ve had to adapt to our new needs.
Now, there are six of us, and the youngest of the clan is barely two years old, so we break the trip into two 350-mile sections. Staying at hotels with “suites” as part of their name is vital for us. For example, we can get a two-bed suite and a fold-out couch. The sleeping configurations have varied, but the one that has yielded the best results has been Diana and the baby in the bedroom; each gets a bed, the three older kids in the fold-out couch, and yours truly in a makeshift bed on the floor. This configuration has yielded the best results, where everyone gets decent sleep.
For someone that loves routine, road trips are a real opportunity to practice surrender to divine providence. I’m not a marine, but I could see parents adopting their unofficial slogan, “Improvise, adapt, overcome.” A perfect example was when Mateo threw up on his car seat as we got to our Airbnb in San Diego. We had to clean him, clean the car seat and try to get it dry as soon as possible. Everything worked out okay, but it was something we weren’t accounting for. I honestly had forgotten about it, or maybe I blocked that memory out of self-preservation.
The temptation to focus on the negative is always there. You can focus on a poor night of sleep, how intense the meltdowns were, or how stupid it is for a Chick-fil-a to close their kid’s play area to turn it into an office —Looking at you, Tom Williams, operator of the Valencia Town Center Chick-fil-a—. The choice is yours to make. The truth is, this trip was pretty good. It was challenging, but life with four kids is no picnic. The main difference this time was that instead of spending time together at home, we spent time together inside a car where we couldn’t get away from each other.
On the positive, my mother-in-law watched the kids on Saturday night so Diana and I could go on a date; we visited with my father-in-law and had lunch with my brother and sister-in-law, our nieces and nephews. We shared great food and conversations with friends, but most importantly, we attended a baptism.
Baptism
In Issue #12, I introduced you to Elissa and Carlos and mentioned how Diana and I were asked to be godparents of Benedict, their youngest. The baptism was at noon, and we probably arrived at 11:59 am; it could’ve been worse. The celebrant, Fr. Sam, noted that there were more kids than adults in attendance, which was true; there were several families with three or four kids in the Church, which made the count lopsided toward the kids.
It was a wonderful ceremony; Fr. Sam took the time to explain each part of the rite to the kids. And as you probably know by now, I’m a sucker for learning new things about the faith, so I was taking it all in.
The first question addressed directly to the godparents is, Are you ready to help the parents of this child in their duty as Christian parents? To which Diana and I responded that we were. For the longest time, I thought being a good godparent consisted in praying for your godson or goddaughter and their parents. This is a good thing, obviously, but this question stresses the role of the godparent as a helper of the parents in their duty.
During the celebration of the sacrament, the celebrant blesses the water. One of the particular blessings says, “O God, whose Spirit in the first moments of the world’s creation hovered over the waters, so that the very substance of water would even then take to itself the power to sanctify.” I thought this line was mindblowing. The connection between the Holy Spirit and the substance of water can be evident for some, but what caught my attention was the detail about its substance.
The anointing with chrism oil is the first of the explanatory rites after the baptism. In this part, the celebrant says, “He now anoints you with the chrism of salvation. As Christ was anointed Priest, Prophet, and King.” Usually, a small dab of oil is used. Not this time; the priest asked Carlos to pour oil into his cupped hands and asked me to hold Benedict upright. Benedict’s head was saturated with chrism oil; it smelled divine. I didn’t even care; I got some on my suit. Benedict got a proper crown.
Witnessing a baptism and seeing the newest family member is always a joy. But, it is also a good reminder of what we, the baptized, should do; by renewing the promise our parents made on our behalf.
Calm
My family is at the core of my circle of influence. During this road trip, I lost my temper several times and was notably less patient with everybody, and it started affecting our interactions. Diana suggested I go to confession, which I knew I needed, but I was fighting the idea. I went, and not surprisingly, the grace from the sacrament made the rest of the trip better.
I asked Diana if she thought that when I’m being calm puts everyone else at ease. She said yes without missing a beat. She mentioned the kids react better when I’m calm and collected. This made sense to me, then. Try fighting fire with fire and see what results you get.
It’s not always easy for me to remain calm, but knowing how it can affect my kids and wife makes me want to strive to be as calm as possible. In addition, it reminded me of the virtue of meekness, which involves self-control and humility when dealing with others and cooperation with the Holy Spirit.
Shameless plug: Barbatus Catholic Podcast has an episode on meekness that you can watch here.