Smorgasbord #63

Do Less, Better | Dopamine Diary | Mark Ji Tianxiang

Jan 10, 2025

Do Less, Better

Corrie Ten Boom, a Dutch clockmaker turned Christian writer and speaker, once said that if the devil can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy. I think she’s right. I also believe that sometimes, we tend to put being busy as one of the higher goods. If we’re busy, we’re doing something, hopefully productive. But is our goal as humans to fill every waking hour with activities? Is this what will bring us happiness and fulfillment? Is this what God designed us for?

Recently, I had a conversation with a fellow parishioner who asked me why I hadn’t served in a particular ministry. I told him I didn’t have the bandwidth for that right now. “Bandwidth, huh?” he exclaimed with a hint of doubt. I felt the need to explain that taking care of four little humans, a full-time job, being enrolled in the Kino Institute, and helping with marriage prep classes made my plate quite full. I also said I’m discerning the permanent diaconate, which, if accepted into formation, will take several hours from my schedule. So something had to go.

Around the same time, I started comparing my newsletter to others, which was a bad idea. Comparison is the thief of joy. I thought I should start a podcast, live stream, and spend more time engaging with people in Notes, hoping to grow my readership. But then I stopped and asked, why? Writing a weekly newsletter is a labor of love. I do this because it’s enjoyable to write. It’s satisfying to process my ideas and attempt to make sense of them for you, the reader, to enjoy my work. I was putting unnecessary pressure on myself because the grass looked greener on the other side.

So, why do I do the things I do? Some because they are my duty and vocation. Some because I feel called to do them. Some because I enjoy doing them. And I always have to fight this feeling that I’m not doing enough, that I could always do one more thing. And it is accurate; I could always do more, but at what expense?

I’ve always been a fan of minimalism. This is an overcorrection from my claustrophobic and cluttered upbringing, where everything was saved in case it could prove helpful twenty years from now. When I visited my parents’ home for Christmas last year, I was surprised to see an award I got in college on display in the living room, even though it has been almost twenty years since I graduated. It was nice to remember my effort was recognized at some point, but that’s about it. If it were for me, I would live in a cell similar to those monks live in, with a bed, a kneeler, a desk, and a chair, but since I’m a married man and father of four, I need to compromise.

So, the thought of simplifying my life has always been present. What are the essential things I ought to do? I need to have a job to provide for my family. I want to spend time with them and enjoy their childhood before they become teenagers, and don’t want to hang out with me anymore. I want to go on dates with my wife now so we can enjoy each other's company once the teenagers turn into adults and leave our home. I want to be intentional about friendships and building community. I want to be an intentional disciple and help my pastor as long as I don’t neglect my vocation (I think this is key). And I want to have hobbies because I believe people with hobbies make for interesting humans.

As you can see, my list of essentials is still quite extensive, but some could shrink to leave more room for other things. Think of a tube where you need to fit glass spheres; there are big, medium, and smaller ones, and you have a finite space to accommodate them, so invariably, something will be left out. The only rule is that the bigger spheres are the most important and must take precedence. It’s not about doing nothing; it’s about doing less but doing it better.

I didn’t know Marcus Aurelius had thought about this eons ago, so it made me feel better about myself that I had a thought that one of the stoics had at some point. Even though I don’t identify with everything the stoics teach, I see the value in adopting this philosophy. I just wanted to name-drop Marcus Aurelius, moving on.

All this to say that I will continue to publish the Smorgasbord on a weekly cadence and Heavyweight monthly. I have turned off the chat feature, and there is no podcast on the horizon, live stream, or nonessential chirping on Notes. For most of you, faithful readers, this probably means little since you most likely read this in your email inbox and don’t care for the bells and whistles. This is how Do Less, Better will affect this publication. You’ll be the judge of whether or not it gets better.

Dopamine Diary

I found a Python script that blocks certain websites during a specific timeframe. This script was a free alternative to a paid application with the same feature. Now, I can’t access YouTube or Substack during working hours. These two are the biggest distractors whenever I’m frustrated or overwhelmed and need a quick dopamine hit. I blocked the same websites plus email on my phone. It works too damn well. I was annoyed at how well my solution worked. Mainly because I realized how subconsciously I type away those two websites on the address bar whenever I want an easy escape. As soon as I removed the option, I had to deal with the frustration or whatever overwhelmed me differently.

Why am I setting this boundary on myself? Well, I realized it was what I needed to do. I’m not a productivity guru or anything, but I can recognize when I’m slacking, and I don’t want to be a slacker. Or rather, I want to reinforce behaviors that align with the person I want to be. I like accomplishing things, and watching videos won’t help me reach my goals.

But how do I know I’m doing the right thing? If only I could track those things, I would feel accomplished if I did them daily. Ironically, I watched a video of a guy describing a Habit Tracker, although he called it a Dopamine Diary like James Clear mentions in Atomic Habits. It’s a relatively simple thing: in your favorite notebook, write the word “Habits” as a column header, then list all the things you would like to accomplish daily. The columns to the right of the habits will be the dates. I started my tracker on Wednesday, January 8th, but I thought it was Tuesday, so I had to cover up my mistake by trying to make a T into a W. It was a rough start; the ink was getting smeared over the paper and my fingers. It wasn’t pretty, but I finished it. Setting it up for the next two weeks took me about ten minutes.

The habits I want to track are very mundane, like brushing my teeth, making the bed, emptying the dishwasher, taking creatine, working out, personal prayer, family prayer, night prayer (trying to get a lot of prayers in), reading five pages, and writing 750 words per day. I listed these habits in the order I would like to accomplish them. This will help me get into a rhythm or flow of the day where I know what’s next, and it’ll be easier to check those things off the list. Then, I can take stock of the habits I did and the ones I didn’t and give myself a score. I’m aiming for 80% compliance.

I like routine and don’t mind doing the same thing every day, but working from home and homeschooling present a variety of situations that can throw off the best laid-out plans. If I can get into a groove, I think it will be easier to stick to these habits that will improve my life. Still, there’s some flexibility and wiggle room built into the system in case everything goes haywire.

Eliminating distractions and improving focus are essential to the lifestyle I want to have. I see it as what pruning does to a plant. You cut off all the suckers so the plant can channel that energy into producing fruit. As you may have read in my latest edition of Heavyweight, I want to get close to 200 lbs by the end of 2025, an ambitious goal. In the same vein, I want to read more to write better. I want to pray more so I grow in intimacy with God. And I want to take a magnesium supplement at night to sleep better. It’s the little things.

I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m meandering a bit right now because I ran out of things to say about this topic. I still have about 82 words before I reach 750. This would be a good time to invite you to take stock of what may be distracting you and consider your goals for the year. It’s still early; you have time. There’s nothing like a new beginning. Whether you start today, Monday, or any other day of the week, the important thing is to begin.

Join me on this journey toward self-mastery, discipline, and better sleep. (Have I mentioned how much I like my magnesium supplement at night? It really relaxes me.) Whoa, look at the word count. Well, that’s my time. Y’all have been great. I’ll be here all weekend. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.

Mark Ji Tianxiang

Ji was raised in a Christian family in 19th-century China. He eventually became a doctor and served the poor for free. One day, he became ill with a violent stomach ailment, and he treated himself with opium, a normal thing to do at the time, except he became addicted to it, which was a source of shame and scandal.

Ji fought to get rid of his addiction and would frequent the sacrament of reconciliation whenever he missed the mark. After three years of confessing the same sin, his confessor took this as evidence that Ji didn’t have the resolve to amend his life and no desire to do better, so he asked Ji not to come back until he fulfilled the requirements for confession. Ji loved the Lord but couldn’t keep sober, but he kept showing up. For thirty years, he wasn’t able to receive the sacraments, and during that time, he prayed to become a martyr, which seemed the only way he could be saved.

Ji got his chance in 1900 when the Boxer Rebels began to turn against foreigners and Christians. Ji and nine members of his family were rounded up by the rebels and taken away. He begged his captors to kill him last so none of his relatives would die alone. The one they thought would deny the Lord first was flooded with the grace of final perseverance. He stood beside each one of his relatives as they were beheaded and went to his death, singing the Litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary. He was an opium addict who had been away from the sacraments for decades, and still, he’s a canonized saint.

When I first heard St. Mark Ji Tianxiang’s story, I immediately thought of my habitual sins, the things I repeat over and over in the confessional. It can feel like no matter how much I pray to be delivered or healed from certain wounds, God’s answer is either not yet or a flat-out no. But why? Well, maybe God wants us to carry our crosses, big and small, so we can continue to abandon ourselves to Him.

My flawed humanity and shortcomings are part of my plan for salvation. Does that mean I shouldn’t try to do better? No, but I should resist the temptation to despair and think that I should quit altogether since I haven’t gotten better. Remember that when God placed a calling in your life, He already factored in your stupidity. I don’t know who said that, but ain’t that the truth?

If Almighty God wants me to continue fighting against my habitual sins for the rest of my life, I will thank Him for that every time. I would get worried if I started adding new stuff. Not all of us are called to be martyrs. However, we can offer all our little sacrifices at the foot of His cross, like a child offering mud pies to their father, hoping he delights in them. Persevere, take heart, and keep walking the narrow path.

Peregrino is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Sobremesa

What are your thoughts on minimalism?
Is tracking habits overkill?
If you had to encourage someone fighting addiction, what would you tell them?