I’ve had five funerals (3 close family, 1 very distant, 1 good friend’s dad) over the last couple months or so, and this really hits home. Thank you for sharing. Beautiful piece, as always.
Some takeaways are strange - there's no particular change between alive one moment and dead the next, it's still the same person as you care for them on the next stage. Others are about families - the ones holding on hardest are the ones most frequently driven by more negative emotions, the most loving are the ones who come to terms with the person dying and accepting that more and more interventions and treatments won't be beneficial.
There're also more families who'd like a window left open after the death than ask for any form of priest, pastor or chaplain - but that's probably more England than anything else.
Thank you Walther, for your tender recollection. Is abuelo,--oh I see, abuelo or abuela; I like that term of affection. How practical that your abuelo sold Coke and chips in his living room! I may have to open mine! Yes, older folks sprout with joy at their families; especially grandkids. I'm glad for the joy they shared with you.
Could never be a professional cryer, that's too sad!
This is an excellent post and I can tell is coming from a place of peace and love.
This is not a woe-is-me comment at all, but I've lost count of how many funerals I've attended over the years. I would guess the number is somewhere close to 20. My grandfather was one of 12 children and as a young child he watched my twin brother and me over the summer months. In this time we helped care for his elderly siblings as well as some of his elderly church members and friends. When I was about 12-years-old we started to lose great-aunts and great-uncles every year. Sometimes a few within just months of each other. My grandfather too would eventually pass away as would my mother and father over the years. Although my father's death is a story in and of itself as he was not involved in my life until just before his passing.
Anyway, the only thing that has helped me through these times of loss are enormous amounts of prayer and the strong bonds of family that were cultivated during my childhood. My grandfather raised us in church and I remain a protestant to this day with the understanding that death, if we are saved, is merely a new beginning. Death is something we must face and accept with grace. For this reason physical death does not scare me as I believe that Christ has indeed physical defeated death and we now have life abundantly in him.
There is no way I could be a professional mourner. I can’t cry on que and I’ve been taught too consistently over the years to remember the good life that was lived and the life that is to come. While we will mourn, this pain is temporary but the glory we believe in is eternal.
Hey Derek, thank you for reading and sharing your own experience. I have heard death being represented as a door, a door to a new beginning as you say.
I’ve had five funerals (3 close family, 1 very distant, 1 good friend’s dad) over the last couple months or so, and this really hits home. Thank you for sharing. Beautiful piece, as always.
Thank you and I'm so sorry for your loss.
Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them.
I'm a nurse, I see a lot of people dying expectedly. It's not an easy thing, but people can certainly be ready to go.
Is it scary? Most older people I see have come to terms with it, or appear to have.
Man, that's rough. Talk about having a bad day at work. What would you say has been the biggest takeaway from experiencing death that close?
Some takeaways are strange - there's no particular change between alive one moment and dead the next, it's still the same person as you care for them on the next stage. Others are about families - the ones holding on hardest are the ones most frequently driven by more negative emotions, the most loving are the ones who come to terms with the person dying and accepting that more and more interventions and treatments won't be beneficial.
There're also more families who'd like a window left open after the death than ask for any form of priest, pastor or chaplain - but that's probably more England than anything else.
Thanks for sharing. The open window request is very interesting.
Thank you Walther, for your tender recollection. Is abuelo,--oh I see, abuelo or abuela; I like that term of affection. How practical that your abuelo sold Coke and chips in his living room! I may have to open mine! Yes, older folks sprout with joy at their families; especially grandkids. I'm glad for the joy they shared with you.
Could never be a professional cryer, that's too sad!
Hey mud, abuelo/a is grandma/grandpa in Spanish. Yes, it was very convenient for us kids.
Thank you for reading!
This is an excellent post and I can tell is coming from a place of peace and love.
This is not a woe-is-me comment at all, but I've lost count of how many funerals I've attended over the years. I would guess the number is somewhere close to 20. My grandfather was one of 12 children and as a young child he watched my twin brother and me over the summer months. In this time we helped care for his elderly siblings as well as some of his elderly church members and friends. When I was about 12-years-old we started to lose great-aunts and great-uncles every year. Sometimes a few within just months of each other. My grandfather too would eventually pass away as would my mother and father over the years. Although my father's death is a story in and of itself as he was not involved in my life until just before his passing.
Anyway, the only thing that has helped me through these times of loss are enormous amounts of prayer and the strong bonds of family that were cultivated during my childhood. My grandfather raised us in church and I remain a protestant to this day with the understanding that death, if we are saved, is merely a new beginning. Death is something we must face and accept with grace. For this reason physical death does not scare me as I believe that Christ has indeed physical defeated death and we now have life abundantly in him.
There is no way I could be a professional mourner. I can’t cry on que and I’ve been taught too consistently over the years to remember the good life that was lived and the life that is to come. While we will mourn, this pain is temporary but the glory we believe in is eternal.
Hey Derek, thank you for reading and sharing your own experience. I have heard death being represented as a door, a door to a new beginning as you say.