Smorgasbord #64

Seltzer Sommelier | Cooking Spree | Wax and Wick

Jan 17, 2025

Seltzer Sommelier

My seltzer and mineral water consumption has dramatically increased in the last five years. Something about the bubbles makes fizzy water feel like a treat without the guilt of drinking calories. I occasionally enjoy a Coke, ginger ale, or this black cherry soda from my favorite pizza place, but I know this is not the best for me, so seltzer scratches that itch for a carbonated beverage. And just as my fancy for spicy water, as my kids call it, grew, so did the options. It would seem like we can’t get enough of it. Still water? Boring! Give me the bubbles!

One of the first brands of seltzer I heard of was La Croix, mainly because of the memes associated with it. People made fun of the essences that perfumed the water by making up new flavors like “transported in a truck near bananas” or “single skittle dissolved in water.” Granted, the only brand of mineral water I was familiar with was Topo Chico, which is from my hometown and the de facto “plain” carbonated drink, but The Coca-Cola Company recently bought the brand, and this makes me happy as they are pushing it hard in the US. It is readily available for me to find in my local grocery store. Capitalism, gotta love it.

I drink copious amounts of seltzer when doing Alternate Day Fasting, so I’ve become familiar with different brands and flavors. The following is a list of brands and flavors that deserve a special mention. As with everything, there are tiers to seltzer water; some brands will have a premium over others. A friend and I split a liter bottle of Pellegrino the other day, and when he sent me money on Venmo, the message read “luxury water,” he’s not wrong. Without further ado, here are some of the seltzers in rotation in my fridge at any given moment.

Plain Seltzer

The budget option for plain seltzer would be Mineragua. It has a mild bubble and minerals added for taste (salt, sodium bicarbonate, and potassium chloride). It is tasty and cheap. It has become one of my go-to plain sparkling waters. In the middle of the road would be Topo Chico. It has an aggressive bubble and clean taste but is slightly more expensive than Mineragua. Pellegrino would be top shelf. It has a soft bubble, which makes it extremely easy to drink, and feels fancier and more refined.

Perfumed Seltzer

365 by Whole Foods Market has a Strawberry Mint Basil seltzer packed with flavor. I would’ve never considered mint and basil together, but it works. I’ve been strawberry and basil combos in cooking, but the right amount of mint brightens up the whole thing.

My favorite flavors from La Croix are Guava Sao Paulo, Pasteque, and Coconut. Guava is a fruit I don’t get to eat as much now, but smelling it takes me back to my childhood days. Pasteque is fancy for watermelon, and I mean, come on, who doesn’t like watermelon? Coconut is kind of basic, but sometimes you have to be basic.

Waterloo’s Peach, Black Cherry, and Cherry Limeade flavors are exceptional. The peach one is for those who like peach iced tea but in bubbly form. Black cherry is just lovely, and cherry limeade is for when I don’t want to go to Sonic and get the real thing but still have something to satisfy that craving.

Polar’s Ginger Lime Mule is a good nonalcoholic option for when you want a seltzer that tastes like a cocktail.

Bubly’s Strawberry flavor tastes like biting into the actual fruit. Another seltzer that tastes like a cocktail is its coconut pineapple flavor. Piña Colada, anyone? Finally, its Strawberry Sunset flavor mixes strawberry, kiwi, and pineapple, which makes it intriguing (for a seltzer).

Premium

What premium means to me is that I found these brands of seltzer at Sprouts, and they were more expensive than what I can find in my local Kroger. Yes, I listed Whole Foods in the previous category, but their seltzer is decently priced.

Sanzo is a brand of seltzer that specializes in Asian-inspired flavors. I tried their yuzu with ginger flavor; it has a mild bubble, clean taste, tart flavor, and slightly spicy. I also tried their lychee flavor (which is not zero calories, in case this matters to you), and it is damn good, floral, and sweet with a great aftertaste. It smells like wine, but it tastes like a berry fart.

The Mountain Valley has a white peach flavor, and I would drink it all day, every day if it weren’t so expensive. So, for now, it’ll be a special occasion seltzer.

And that’s the list! Thank you for coming to my TED Talk, and make sure you stay hydrated. Cheers!

Cooking Spree

Now and then, I feel the urge to cook. Weekends are the perfect canvas for my culinary creations. Our family schedule is relaxed, and I can focus on a few projects I want to accomplish. Saturday was the culmination of three ideas that have been bugging me for a while now. First, I want something tasty to break my fasts, but I also want it to be low effort. Second, I want salsa macha. I’ve been craving it since I had over Christmas in Mexico. Third, I saw Molly Baz from Bon Appetit making a Basque Burnt Cheesecake; I like cheesecake, and this recipe looks straightforward.

Breakfast Burritos

I don’t food prep as much as I should, but I happened to have one pound of chorizo, eggs, potatoes, cheese, flour tortillas, and time to make a massive pot of chorizo and eggs and potatoes and cheese, throw that on flour tortillas and roll up some breakfast burritos that can go in the freezer. I cooked the chorizo, then the potatoes, put the chorizo back in, scrambled the eggs, added the cheese and the eggs, and mixed everything until I had the best breakfast burrito filling (in my opinion). I made ten breakfast burritos, but only seven made it to the freezer. Now, Diana and I will have something yummy to eat in the morning without having to cook anything. Project 1: done.

Salsa Macha

This salsa hails from the state of Veracruz, in the Gulf of Mexico, and it’s very similar to chili oil. I took my second oldest on an adventure to find chile de arbol at our local carniceria, and they only had a medium and a large bag of dried chiles. I got the medium one, thinking I would be set for life. Chile de Arbol has a heat level between 15,000 and 30,000 on the Scoville scale, above serrano peppers. This is the main ingredient, but wait, there’s more. With a heat level between 2,500 and 5,000, chile Guajillo is the second ingredient of this salsa. The other ingredients are peanuts, sesame seeds, garlic, salt, and vegetable oil.

This salsa is labor intensive. I had to remove the stems and seeds from the chiles, which took the most time. I didn’t use latex gloves because I live on the edge, and I was foolish enough to think that everything would be fine if I blew my nose while cleaning dry chiles. Wrong. My nostrils were on fire. It burned for a while. I offered it for the holy souls in purgatory. In the end, I had twenty grams of clean chile de arbol, six clean guajillo chiles, a hundred grams of each of the nuts, and four garlic cloves—time to fry everything.

Once the oil was 300 F, I carefully dumped each ingredient and removed it after fifteen to thirty seconds. Then, I immediately put the fried ingredients in the blender. Once everything was fried, I dumped the oil I had fried everything in and a generous pinch of salt. I blended the whole thing and put it in a jar. I must have eaten an entire bag of tortilla chips just taste-testing the salsa.

I think I used about two cups of oil to fry everything because the whole thing yielded twenty-four ounces—more than necessary. In fact, once I was done eating chips, I felt like I didn’t want it anymore. And this always happens. I crave something, make it, have one bite, and then I’m done. In Mexico, we say that you eat with your eyes. I don’t know if it’s scientifically proven, but it worked for me this time. Still, the salsa came out great; it’s spicy, smoky, and nutty. It coats your tongue, thanks to the vegetable oil. Once it settles, the oil sits on top of the nut butter-looking mixture of peanuts, sesame seeds, and chiles. I’m hoping to try it with carne asada in the future. Project 2: done.

Burnt Basque Cheesecake

This recipe calls for two pounds of cream cheese, I know, right? I was also surprised this wasn’t a recipe from the Midwest. I had heard this cheesecake was easy to make and tasted amazing. There was only one problem: we didn’t have a spring form pan. A few taps on my phone, and we had one within 24 hours. Thank you, Mr. Bezos, back to the cheesecake. The other ingredients are heavy cream, eggs, sugar, and a third cup of flour, which feels like an afterthought, really. “Oh yeah, we should add flour.”

I like a good pie crust, so I hesitated to make a cheesecake that doesn’t have one. But I’ll be honest and say that it doesn’t need one. It comes together super easy if you have a stand mixer, and it’s ready in about an hour. The hardest step is to wait until it comes to room temperature. I didn’t wait that long and paid the consequences. Worth it.

This custardy, rich, fluffy, creamy, caramelly cheesecake is sweet enough to satisfy your sweet tooth without becoming too much after a couple of bites. Looking at you, Cheesecake Factory. However, since we shouldn’t eat that much cheesecake, I took quarter chunks and gave them to a couple of our friends. Project 3: done.

I ended up sharing the salsa and the cheesecake with a couple of friends, and both told me they enjoyed the treats, which was a bonus. I don’t know when or if I’ll make any of these things again, but I’m glad I made them. I learned important lessons, like the importance of washing your hands after you have been in contact with chilies and before you put your hands in contact with your face. That’s an important one. And I think that the effort of cooking is almost as enjoyable as savoring the fruit of your labor. A feeling that mixes tiredness and accomplishment is the best way I can describe it. Alright, I’m going to cut another slice of cheesecake, bye!

Wax and Wick

Diana wasn’t feeling well enough to go to her 7:00 AM holy hour on Tuesday, so I covered for her. In the pew where I chose to sit was a booklet called “The Way of the Cross (with text from the Scriptures).” I picked it up and started praying. It was a good read. It even included a fifteenth station for Jesus’ resurrection, which I thought was innovative.

I also noticed the candles on the altar. About a half-inch of melted wax was under the flame, and all four candles had different amounts of wax. This phenomenon made me wonder if those extra seconds the first candle burns eventually take their toll, and if so, when does a difference appear?

Then, on the fourteenth station (if I remember correctly), a quote from Psalm 22 appeared: “My heart is like wax.” This line suggests being in a state of exhaustion and physical and emotional pain. The Psalm Jesus quotes from the cross.

The wax from the candle melts, and the wick pulls in the wax through capillary action to turn it into light, heat, and water vapor. Once solid, the wax is transformed and spent so that there can be light. Could this be an interpretation of what it means to be the light of the world?

If we empty ourselves, our actions can transform us into light. If we spend the wax of our lives, we help the light of Christ burn bright. And by doing so, gradually, there will be less of us and more of the light. As John the Baptist said, He must increase, but I must decrease.

Within the same hour, the Hallow app sent me a push notification with a quote from St. Teresa of Avila. It read: “Accustom yourself continually to make many acts of love, for they enkindle and melt the soul.” Coincidence? I don’t think so.

We’ve been dealing with bouts of sickness in our family, and it can feel like we’re burning the candle at both ends to continue with the candle theme. We haven’t been sleeping well, and our routine has been challenged. However, through prayer, it is clear that an invitation is being extended to us to melt our souls by continually performing many acts of love.

Going from solid to liquid to gas does not sound appealing. It sounds like it will hurt, and you’re right. But the purpose, the reason we would do this, makes the sacrifice worth it. And even if some of us may live like candles in the wind (I had to do it), let’s do our best to keep the flame going, giving light to those around us.

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Sobremesa

What’s the best brand/flavor of seltzer out there?
What was the last thing you cooked?
Aren’t you glad I didn’t reference “This little light of mine”?